Have you had someone at work or in your personal life come to you with an issue or problem? What's your first response? Do you start with giving them direction? Or do you move into a coaching mindset? 

All of those moves are appropriate – but at the appropriate time. 

Most people have a go-to or default mode when someone brings a problem or issue to them. It's almost like having a tool belt around your waist and when someone brings a situation to you, and it's the first tool you pull out. 

Your Job as a Coach

People usually pull out giving advice or giving direction without thinking about which is the most appropriate tool. We forget that we have choices and appropriate moves when someone brings up issues. 

If you can focus long enough on the listening, people can really develop some interesting solutions. 

As a coach, your job is to listen and not to give advice. People are usually able to resolve their problems or issues and think about new possibilities, if given the space and encouragement to think and talk about it. 

The Simple Coaching Model

• What do you want to talk about? Tell me about that situation.

• Emptying out - Keep asking more open-ended questions. Many of us jump to work too soon in that process before the person has actually been able to walk through everything that they're thinking. So keep asking "what else" or "have you tried... " questions to help them get there.

• The Commitment Piece: The X by Y Step: What are you going to do and by when?