When I first retired, I thought that this would bring me the time and space to create what I hoped for. What I found out soon was that while the time was there, I could do anything that I wanted. I didn't have any structure or routine in place to help me focus and get to work on something. Being a natural learner and curious, I found that I could spend endless time gathering knowledge and insights, but I needed to create some routines to actually create and achieve something.
I remember a former factory manager saying in his retirement, he could spend all day reading the Wall Street Journal. After his comment, I thought about it for days, weeks even, and I found it interesting that if he could read the Wall Street Journal all day, but what would come of it afterwards?
Was reading the Wall Street Journal creating any value to others? Was he sharing his knowledge with what he had learned from reading the WSJ? Was he using the knowledge for entertainment or was he actually going to share and use the knowledge with others? I never got an answer from him, that's ok, it was more about what I wanted to do in retirement that struck me with this conversation. Do I want to read the WSJ all day or do I want to share my knowledge with those that need it?
I chose the latter.
No disrespect to those that want to read all day, I find that fascinating too. However, I wanted more. I wanted to share what I've learned over the years to help others in similar positions. I didn't want to play pickleball daily and as much as I love reading, I didn't want to just read either. I knew I had more to give and wanted to share.
Many of us have an idyllic vision of what retirement will be like - endless days filled with recreation, relaxation, and realizing long-held dreams. Yet the reality often fails to meet these lofty expectations.
As author and retirement coach Nancy Schlossberg notes, "Too much leisure leaves some with not enough to do or a loss of purpose."
Pre-retirees often expect that retirement will bring complete freedom and ample time to pursue hobbies, travel frequently, and connect more with friends and family. However, the day-to-day experience of retirement can end up looking quite different.
Author Ernie Zelinski observes this gap, stating that "Retirement is like a long vacation in that we are paid upfront for it through a lifetime of work. Of course, retirement is not actually a permanent vacation."
Many pre-retirees envision filling their weekdays with beloved hobbies like golf, fishing, gardening, pickleball and the like. Yet these hobbies often fail to consume 40+ hours per week previously spent at a job. Without a clear sense of purpose and routine, retirees can begin to feel aimless and adrift. Lonely even.
As the famous psychologist Erik Erikson noted, "To resolve the crisis of generatively versus stagnation occurring at this stage, the individual must find purpose and meaning through developing the next generation."
Retirees can also struggle with the social transition, expecting that they will effortlessly fill their calendar by spending more time with family and friends. However, it becomes clear that loved ones still have their own routines and commitments.
Retirement coach and author Stephanie Watson cautions, “You may find that friends are still working or living active lives with little time for casual phone conversations or impromptu lunches.”
Along with boredom, isolation and emotional struggles can set in. The reality is also that many pre-retirees fail to appropriately budget and plan for this next phase. Author Suze Orman explains, "You need to understand what your expenses will be so your retirement income can sustain the retirement you envision.” Without adequate savings and resourcing, dreams of extensive travel and leisure often remain out of reach. Physical limitations also begin to shift one’s expectations of what is realistic to take on. Maintaining health and accepting changing abilities become key.
Orman shares that, “The golden years aren't so golden for your body; by the time you retire, you probably won't be able to take on the physical tasks you assume you can do right now."
While retirement may not match most pre-retiree expectations, creating structure, community and purpose can help bridge the gap towards retirement satisfaction. Expanding one’s definition of purposeful work, taking advantage of senior education opportunities, and deliberately creating social rituals can help provide the meaning many expect retirement to automatically provide. With some redefinition and proactivity, retirement can still prove to be a rewarding and special life phase.
If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. If any of this resonates, I'm here for you. You're not alone in this stage of life and I'm happy to listen.
Now, I’d love to hear from you.
Are you thinking about retirement? Are you nervous or anxious about the next phase of life?
Tell me in the comments below.
We’re all in this together,
Lynn
